I’ll Have a Blue Christmas

Let’s get real. The holidays can be a lot for many people in the world. It may not be all warm and tender as the media or society may be advertising. If you find yourself struggling during the holiday season, you are not alone. If you have a loved one that struggles, perhaps this can shine a light on what may be going on and allow space for empathy and compassion.

Holiday blues can affect anyone … regardless of their personal circumstances or background. It can be a struggle every year or last for a season. There is no cut and dry presentation or reason. Below are a few that we’ve compiled, however, this list is not exhaustive.

1. Loss or grief: The holiday season can be a difficult time if you have recently experienced a loss, such as the death of a loved one or the end of a relationship. Being surrounded by traditional festivities and memories of past celebrations can intensify feelings of sadness and loneliness.

2. Financial stress: The pressure to spend money on gifts, decorations, and lavish meals during the holiday season can cause financial strain. If you are unable to meet these expectations, it can lead to feelings of guilt, anxiety and discontentment.

3. Loneliness and social isolation: The holiday season emphasizes spending time with loved ones and being surrounded by friends and family. However, if you don't have a strong support system or are unable to be with loved ones during this time, it can lead to feelings of loneliness, isolation, and a sense of not belonging.

4. Unrealistic expectations: The media and societal pressures often portray the holiday season as a time of joy, warmth and perfect experiences. However, reality may not always match these idealized images, leading to feelings of disappointment, inadequacy and dissatisfaction.

5. Seasons: Seasonal changes can affect people's mood. The shorter days, lack of sunlight, and colder weather can contribute to feelings of sadness, fatigue, and a decrease in overall well-being. Although there are certainly some that thrive in certain weather conditions, that may not hold true for all.

6. Stress and overcommitment: The holiday season can bring a lot of added responsibilities and expectations, such as hosting family gatherings, attending multiple parties, or holiday shopping. This added stress and busy schedule can lead to feelings of overwhelm, exhaustion, and a sense of being unable to keep up.

7. Reflection on the past year: As the year comes to an end, many people reflect on their accomplishments, failures, and unmet goals. For some, this reflection can bring about feelings of disappointment, regret, or frustration, especially if they feel they haven't achieved what they had hoped for.

8. Seasonal traditions and reminders: Certain holiday traditions, decorations, or songs may trigger memories of past experiences or relationships, both positive and negative. These reminders can bring about mixed emotions, nostalgia, or sadness, depending on the context.

Hope is not lost. There are ways to navigate the seasons while protecting your mental wellbeing. Again, this is not meant to be exhaustive or a solve. Some may resonate and others may not. Hopefully, it can be a good foundation to give you ideas on what might work for you. Creativity is encouraged!

1. Acknowledge and validate your feelings: It's important to recognize and allow space for any feelings of sadness, loneliness or frustration that you may be experiencing during the holiday season. Emotions are normal. We all experience them. When we observe them with curiosity and without judgment, we have a better chance of being able to work through them than getting fused to them.

2. Practicing self-compassion: Engage in activities that bring you joy and help alleviate stress. This can include activities like taking a walk, practicing mindfulness or meditation, reading a book, listening to music, or engaging in a hobby you enjoy.

3. Set realistic expectations: The holidays may not always meet our expectations, and that's okay. Try not to compare your holiday experience to others or to idealized versions portrayed in media. When we can give ourselves permission to be gentle with the expectations we set for ourselves and provide space to focus on finding joy in simple moments and activities.

4. Reach out for support: If you're feeling down during the holiday season, don't hesitate to reach out to a friend, family member or therapist for support. Sometimes talking about your feelings can provide comfort and perspective. Because feeling blues during this season is common, often there are support groups or grief groups that can be found through a online database search or through a local hospital.

5. Create your own, new traditions: If certain traditions that you used to enjoy during the holidays are no longer feasible or available, consider creating new ones. This could involve trying out new activities, hosting a small gathering with close friends or family or volunteering for a charity organization.

6. Finding opportunities for gratitude: Refocusing on the things you are grateful for in your life can help shift your perspective and allow the capacity to cultivate a lighter environment. One way to do that is to write down or verbalize things you appreciate and are thankful for each day.

7. Limit exposure to triggers: If certain holiday-related triggers exacerbate your holiday blues, consider limiting your exposure to them. This might involve avoiding social media, certain events, or discussions that intensify your negative emotions.

8. Give back: Engaging in acts of kindness and giving back to others can help fill your cup and provide you with an environment in which you are proud of. Volunteer at a local charity or participate in community service initiatives to make a positive impact.

9. Take care of your physical health: Balance the sugar or heaviness with fibers and protein. Instead of ordering all of your meals for delivery, pick one that you go out and get yourself to increase your movement and momentum. Scatter in a walk per every 4 episode binges. Opt for scrolling through videos on your phone outdoors. Caring for your physical health does not have to be an all or nothing ordeal, which could make it more difficult to attain.

10. Seek professional help if needed: If your holiday blues persist or intensify, it may be beneficial to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide guidance and support tailored to your specific needs.

Remember, navigating the holiday blues takes time and effort, so be patient with yourself. Focus on self-compassion and the prioritization of your well-being throughout the holiday season.

By

Reesa Morala, MA, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist