The holiday season — it’s supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year,” right? But if you’re a parent juggling kids, gift lists, family gatherings, and work commitments, you know the reality. The holidays can become a marathon, and when you’re running on empty, it’s easy to see why many couples start feeling more like roommates. Today, let’s explore the essential role of rest and recuperation in navigating the holidays, especially for parents. Taking time to recharge can make a world of difference not only for you individually but also for the health of your relationship.

 

As a therapist specializing in couples therapy for parents, I’ve seen just how powerful prioritizing self-care can be. So, here’s your holiday survival guide on finding that elusive balance of festivities, family, and—yes—rest.

 

The Gift of Rest: Why Parents Need It More Than Ever

 

Being a parent doesn’t come with an “off” switch, and when the holiday season ramps up, rest often becomes the first thing to go. Between holiday shopping, decorating, hosting, and working, there’s a near-endless list of tasks to tackle. Add in extended family obligations, and it’s easy to see why parents end up burning the candle at both ends.

 

But here’s the thing: Rest is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. Without it, we’re simply not able to bring our best selves to our kids, our family gatherings, or our partner. Lack of rest can lead to irritability, decreased patience, and increased tension in our relationships.

 

If the idea of prioritizing rest feels selfish, remember this: taking care of yourself allows you to take better care of others. In fact, relationship counseling for parents often emphasizes that caring for the relationship begins with caring for ourselves.

 

How to Find Moments of Rest Amidst Holiday Chaos

 

So, how can parents find those much-needed pockets of peace and recuperation? It doesn’t have to be an entire weekend retreat (though that would be nice!); it can be as simple as scheduling brief, intentional moments of rest and self-care each day.

 

Here are some tips for parents that I often recommend in couples therapy:

 

1. Power Naps or Quiet Time

Sometimes, a quick nap or a few minutes of quiet time can be enough to recharge. If napping isn’t possible, even a few moments of downtime with a book, a warm drink, or calming music can do wonders. These small breaks add up and provide a reset for the rest of your day. Think a couple of minutes to play your fave song.

 

2. Scheduled “Couple Time” Amid the Festivities

Intentional time with your partner, away from holiday prep and to-dos, is a must. Try blocking out time, even just 15–30 minutes daily, to reconnect. This could be a cozy coffee together before the kids wake up, a quick walk around the neighborhood, or an evening spent watching your favorite holiday show. It does not have to be hours or cost thousands of dollars.

 

Spending quality time together isn’t just refreshing — it also supports the connection you’re building in your relationship. And if “couple time” feels distant these days, couples therapy after kids can provide a roadmap for finding meaningful ways to reconnect.

 

3. Delegate, Delegate, Delegate

Trying to do it all? That’s a recipe for holiday burnout. Consider what can be delegated to family members, friends, or even kids if they’re old enough. Making holiday cookies? Invite the kids to join in on the fun. Wrapping gifts? Turn it into a date night with your partner or let older kids try their hand at it. This way, the load is shared, and you get more time to rest — it’s a win-win! And yes, I know that it may not be perfectly wrapped or the cookies a little brown - remember it’s about showing up, not perfection. (deep breath in and out it’ll be okay)

 

4. Plan Mini Self-Care Moments

Small acts of self-care can recharge you throughout the day. This could mean taking a few minutes to step outside and get fresh air, practicing deep breathing exercises, or listening to your favorite music while wrapping gifts. Remember, self-care doesn’t have to mean a full spa day — even these short, intentional breaks make a difference.

 

Why Rest and Recuperation Are Essential for Your Relationship

 

Taking time to rest isn’t only beneficial for you as an individual; it’s key to sustaining a healthy, thriving relationship. When we’re stressed, exhausted, or feeling drained, it’s easy to take out those frustrations on our partner — especially during the holidays when tension runs high. But when we’re rested, we’re more patient, more present, and more capable of bringing positivity to the partnership.

 

In therapy for parents feeling distant we often discuss how exhaustion and stress can lead to feelings of resentment, irritability, and disconnection. Building a thriving family system starts with a healthy foundation between you and your partner, and rest is a crucial part of that foundation.

 

So if you’re feeling like you’re at the end of your rope this holiday season, remember that rest is one of the most important gifts you can give to yourself — and to each other.

 

Prioritizing Rest as a Couple: Tips to Try This Holiday Season

 

If you and your partner are both on board with getting more rest this holiday, here are some specific steps you can take together:

 

1. Create a Holiday “Un-Schedule”

In other words, be intentional about scheduling downtime. Take a look at your holiday calendar together and identify at least one “no obligation” day. Use this day to unwind, connect, and enjoy some peace as a family. This simple act can recharge you both and help make the holiday season feel less chaotic.

 

2. Make Rest a Non-Negotiable Boundary

Let extended family know that you’ll need some downtime and won’t be able to make it to every event. For example, you might attend a few key gatherings but also reserve one or two days just for your family. Communicating this boundary ahead of time can alleviate stress and allow for guilt-free rest.

 

3. Set Up a Cozy Holiday Tradition Together

Find a tradition that allows you to relax and spend quality time with each other. This could be something as simple as having a holiday movie night, going for a quiet evening walk, or enjoying hot cocoa by the fire. These small rituals create connection without adding stress and serve as wonderful ways to reset during the busy season.

 

4. Consider Virtual Support

If you’re navigating complex family dynamics or dealing with stress that’s affecting your relationship, consider virtual couples therapy for parents in California. Having professional support, even during the holidays, can provide valuable insight, reduce tension, and help you feel more connected.

 

Why Prioritizing Rest Will Transform Your Holiday Season (and Beyond)

 

When you and your partner make rest a priority, you’re not just taking care of yourselves — you’re also modeling self-care and healthy boundaries for your children. This shift can help you rediscover joy, reduce holiday stress, and approach the season with a clear head and a full heart.

 

At Embrace Renewal Therapy & Wellness Collective, we’re here to help you take those small but powerful steps toward a more connected and restful life together. Whether it’s through relationship counseling for parents virtually in California or in person couples therapy in Murrieta, or simply offering tips on how to make the holidays a little easier, our mission is to support parents like you.

 

Let’s make this holiday season one where rest, connection, and compassion take center stage. After all, the best gifts aren’t the ones under the tree but the moments spent feeling present, connected, and at peace with those we love most. Here’s to a holiday that fills your cup — one rest-filled day at a time.

By

Reesa Morala, MA, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist