Becoming a parent is a monumental life-changing experience, filled with joy and love, but also stress and challenges. Parenting milestones can bring a mix of emotions, from happiness to overwhelming anxiety. I understand the complex dynamics that come with raising children and want to provide support for parents navigating these turbulent waters. Let's take a look at the top 5 most stressful parenting milestones and how you can tackle them with empathy and humor.

1. Making the decision to start a family.

The decision to start a family is a major milestone that can bring both excitement and anxiety. The pressure to have children can be overwhelming for some couples, as they navigate questions about timing, finances, and readiness. It's important to have open and honest discussions with your partner about your desires and fears. There are no takebacks when you have the child. Now is the time to have those discussions. Let it all hang out! Ask the questions, no matter how long you have been together or how trivial it may seem. Remember, there is no right or wrong timeline for starting a family - trust in your own journey and listen to each other's needs.

2. Deciding what to discipline and how.

As your children grow, so do their behaviors. Dealing with tantrums, defiance, and boundary-pushing can be incredibly stressful for parents. It's important to set consistent boundaries and consequences, while also showing empathy and understanding. Take a deep breath, practice patience, and remember that parenting is a learning process for both you and your child. And hey, sometimes a little humor can go a long way in diffusing a tense situation. So can an apology when you screw up (which will happen). Own it, just as you are teaching them to. Remember ... Disciplining is about teaching them skills for the future, not obeying out of fear or people-pleasing.

3. They're 18, now what?

Parenting doesn't end when your children reach adulthood. Navigating the complex dynamics of parenting adult children, whether they are still living at home or have flown the nest, can be challenging. It's important to establish boundaries, respect their independence, and offer guidance when needed. Remember, your role as a parent evolves as your child grows - be flexible and supportive in this new chapter of parenthood. Just because they are your children, does not mean that a relationship is owed. It will take you investing into the relationship, too. The phone, the travel, the conversations, the curiosity - it goes both ways!

4. Blending families

Blending families can be a joyous occasion, but also bring its fair share of challenges. Navigating co-parenting, step-siblings, and different parenting styles can be stressful for all involved. It's important to communicate openly with your partner and children, set clear expectations, and prioritize a sense of unity and teamwork. Let the bio-parent focus on the disciplining on the forefront (consult and game plan behind the scenes) so that the new parent can focus on cultivating a relationship. Remember, every family is unique and it's okay to seek outside support from a therapist or counselor.

5. Return of a traveling parent

The return of a traveling parent can bring a mix of emotions, from excitement to frustration. Balancing the responsibilities of solo parenting while your partner is away, and readjusting to being a team again can be a stressful transition. It's important to communicate openly about your feelings, establish routines, and prioritize quality time together as a family. If you are the returning parent, remember, life didn't stop when you leave so it can be helpful to ask about what would be most helpful instead of assuming. If you were the parent that stayed, remember, your partner likely is feeling disconnected and may need some grace as they adapt to life you've had time to learn. And hey, a little laughter and light-heartedness can help ease the tension of reuniting after time apart.

The complexities of parenting and the toll it can take on relationships. Remember, it's okay to seek support and guidance when needed, whether through counseling, self-care practices, or simply leaning on each other for strength. Parenting is a journey filled with ups and downs, but with empathy, compassion, and a dash of humor, you can navigate these milestones together and come out stronger on the other side.

By

Reesa Morala, MA, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist